Harry and Draco at the Movies
by LadyKatie
Summary: Harry and Draco critique the movie Brokeback Mountain. Slash. HD Oneshot.


**Description: Harry and Draco critique the movie **_**Brokeback Mountain**_**. Obviously has spoilers for the movie, so if you haven't seen it, but are going to, you may not want to read this. Slash. H/D One-shot.**

**Disclaimer: This story is based on characters from Harry Potter, created and owned by JK Rowling and various publishers** **including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. The film Brokeback Mountain is owned by Universal Studios and Focus Features, and is based on the short story by Annie Proulx. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**

Harry and Draco at the Movies  
By LadyKatie

"That was so sad," Draco sighed, wiping away the last trace of tears.

"It wasn't _that_ good of a movie. No need to get all worked up."

Harry stuck his hands in his pockets and turned in the general direction of their flat. It was only four blocks away, so they always walked.

"Are you kidding me? You didn't like it?"

"It was very sad," said Harry, humoring him.

"You're lying! What was wrong with it?"

Harry sighed. "The story itself is fine. I just don't see why everyone made such a fuss over the movie. It's not like it really showed anything. There was a very brief sex scene; big deal."

"How many movies take such a chance and show two gay men kissing at all? There aren't very many love stories made for us!"

"Very few," Harry agreed. "But you're forgetting that it was two supposedly straight actors playing the lead roles. Doesn't Hollywood have enough gay men to play gay roles? You can't tell me there aren't at least a few gay actors out there!"

"Not many who are out. I mean, there's Rupert Everett, but he's a little to old for this particular role. And Nathan Lane is too old also. Besides, could you picture him as a cowboy?"

Harry snorted in amusement. "He'd be a worse cowboy than you."

"Hey," cried Draco, as he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. "What's wrong with me? I think I'd look good in the tight jeans and hat!"

Harry stopped also and turned around to face him.

"Yes, love, you would. I was thinking more about the sleeping on the ground, cooking over a campfire and bathing in a creek."

Draco made a face.

"See?"

Draco looped his arm through Harry's and they began their journey once more.

"I think you're being a bit small-minded here. Gay actors, forced into the closet by society, have been playing straight roles for years. I don't see you complaining about Cary Grant or Rock Hudson. So it shouldn't matter that straight actors are playing gay roles."

"It doesn't matter really because I suppose that's the point of acting; you're being someone you're not actually. It's just the idea that people have made a big deal about it, but we really haven't made much progress. Gay actors are still hiding out in the closet because it may ruin their career to come out, while straight actors are being labeled as 'daring' or 'bold' just because they took a gay role. It sucks."

"OK, fine. Besides the lack of gay actors, what was wrong with it?"

"Tits. Both of the wives were topless at some point, making sure that they balanced out the gay stuff with traditional, straight, Hollywood nudity. Everyone's running around calling it the 'gay cowboy movie' and it's got topless women in it! That's not something gay men want to see! It made me want to throw up in my popcorn."

Draco rolled his eyes.

"Is it so wrong that I want to see a gay movie with real gay people and no boobs? Hollywood has just proven that the only way to do that is rent porn!"

"I still liked it."

"I know, that's because you're a softy."

"I resent that, Potter!"

"I'm sure you do," said Harry in a bored voice.

"Admit it though; you liked it when Jake Gyllenhaal was washing his clothes naked by the creek."

Harry gave a small smile at this, but said nothing. Draco decided to have some fun with it and dropped his voice to a soft, seductive level.

"And you found it incredibly hot when Ennis shoved Jack up against the wall, and they knew that at any minute his wife or someone could catch them, but he just had to have him right then."

"Maybe."

Harry was walking much faster. Draco knew he was starting to get to him, but needed to step it up a notch.

"I saw your face when they fucked." Draco leaned in closer to Harry's ear and whispered. "You were hard, weren't you? I was. And I was picturing you wearing a cowboy hat, spending the lonely nights in the mountains, until I come into your tent and make you scream my name... I've never fucked in a tent. Don't you think it would be fun?"

"Hmm." He cleared his throat and visibly shivered when Draco's breath hit his neck.

"Harry, you don't have a tent, do you?"

"No, but I can conjure one. Let's go."

"OK, but I get to be Jack and you can be Ennis."

"Whatever you want, baby. Just as long as you where the hat."

THE END

**A/N: I actually loved Brokeback Mountain. Harry's objections to it are the couple things that I found a little odd and slightly irritating. I especially found the female nudity amusing, since everyone was calling it "the gay cowboy movie." When I got thinking about it, I remembered what a gay friend of mine said once about seeing boobs in movies and that was my inspiration for this, particularly Harry's bit about the tits. That was exactly the way my friend acted and I thought it was funny.**


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